raining, ting frogs and crickets are creating a sound ambient with the rain...
laying here, thinking about what I heard on short wave, that theres a
movie out now on biblical/alien connection.. called the knowing,
something like that..
gives me a comfortable feeling, as it means people will think about
it, and some realize the truth... and maybe more decent people will
survive whats coming.... especially kids...
it also makes me feel somewhat less alone.. going to be plenty of
other nutcase types who believe what I do,,,,,,
another thought I had, was its also a liberating happening for me...
now, there is nothing anyone needs me for.. my social value drops
to absolute zero... and I see that as good... "accept being
unimportant." (Tao) not sure what the spinoff benefits are yet, but
I'm a long term enough student of the Tao to know when I figure them
all out; I'll be happier with them than any alternative vanity driven
reality... its a strange thought, but not being needed by anyone for
anything is likely some kind of Nirvana if I can realize it.... like
being retired....
like being unencumbered, little baggage... not so much as being
needed by a woman to rag on... they've all evidently found better
victims, or are doing without... leaving me pleasantly free of
undeserved negativity... this is getting better the longer I think
about it.... life without meaning is likely the better experience..
no expectations, no hopes, no disappointments... maybe I can even
get to no desires? just desire the next breath, the next meal, and
to be left alone by humanity... AKA; "peace"...... I think
sometimes about people I have known socially, and realized they were
a waste of time... negative people, negative influences, negative
benefit in my life, and the only thing better than not having to be
around them, would be if I'd never met them...
what that means, is there is serious potential to anti-social
inactivity... no cause, no misguided actions, no damage... just
me and the universe coexisting in the pure state, like a frog on his
own tree.... no snakes, no female frogs to not sing good enough
for... 'leaves me free to express myself as I see fit, and to enjoy
the sunrises unaccompanied good or ill......
the universe and I can be alone together.... a reality most of you
cant imagine with your busy lives being responsible to others....
lately I have been thinking about giving up the desire for a mate....
hunting for one is entertaining, but not very rewarding.. my good
intentions are meaningless to others, and my life in paradise isnt
good enough, so maybe its best if I share it alone?
I find living alone to be pleasant, got nobody trashing me
emotionally, I can do whatever I want, think my own thoughts, sip my
tea in tranquility...there is much I could do to make the world a
better place, or I could care about someone else, but I notice people
seem to care so much about themselves that I become a footnote to
their ego, so having less of that is better than more... and what I
could do would be meaningless in a world headed for destruction by
human stupidity... I'm better off to watch the fruit trees grow,
and guarding my small hunk of forest from other humans and their
infinite damages...
no expectations, no disappointments.....
I can commune with the lizards... they seem most interested in yummy
bugs... but they do look at me wonderingly and vice versa...
sometimes they do grand leaps with me as landing zone... kind of an
honor really, they feel friendly enough in their lizard cortex to
crawl up on my shoulder and see the world from my point of view, or
get eye to eye with me... definitely being friendly... thats better
than some of my ex women...
not like an exwife; friendly for five seconds on payday... just long
enough to snag the check... paying child support was an improvement
over being married, I just wasnt wise enough to appreciate it at the
time...
so there you have it! how to find good in being unimportant, and
unnecessary to anyone... nothing to be depressed about, the exact
opposite seems more appropriate actually; being unnecessary makes
every moment its own magic self, there are billions of humans on the
planet who never get a moment of peace... I am incredibly lucky...
--
Sent from my mobile device
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