I couldnt take being trashed by her emotional garbage dumping on me
and we split up with some help from a good friend of mine, who learned
we were having problems, and took advantage of the insider info, to
do alittle wife stealing....
anyway, looking back, and also suddenly realizing over a period of
years that I too am imperfect etc. I would have done things
differently, and suggested that I go to counciling sometimes too, and
at least explain what the real difficulty was, now I realize the
woman went to counciling to feel like she was self improving, not to
get results.... now days it would be an easy fix, give her a pill
bottle with instructions to start taking 3 days before bloody easter
day, & quit taking there after, problem would have been fixed, I
would have been totally content, and I would still have my incredibly
pretty paid off farm, back in the coast range of western Oregon, and
been years ahead of where I am now.... alas, one gets wise so slow,
and old so soon..... & I might have also learned some things the
easier way, from an expert whom I liked very much......
the funny part of the story, is my good friend had been told about her
clockwork insanity... and that she got pregnant first hit with him, I
have a vasectomy, and she constantly claimed to not want to have
kids.... last I heard, he was sleeping at friend's houses several
days a month, they had a little girl, she lost her good job due to
being pregnant, and he was aready paying child support on a young
kid.... my how life gets even with one for dishonesty and back
stabbing.....
And I went to Costa Rica...got an even better farm, and the rest is history...
now its many years hence, many more problems in my life, with women,
family etc., and I finally realized the one commonality in all of
them......
They all included other humans.... and after years of introspection,
living alone etc. I realized sadly that none of us are adults until
maybe retirement age... Legally adult, and realistically adult are two
extremely different things, and I'm hoping to become one
eventually...
You see, I suspect the bible is right, we were originally constructed
to live longer, maybe forever, and somehow we were genetically
damaged.. the bible tells this story in Genesis...
I personally suspect we were victims of a set up, and all the
thousands of years of sufffering, old age, and death were part of a
plan to get us to be better lab rats, with short lives to push genetic
improvements for somebody else's agenda...
Well, the stated plan is for us to screw up, trash ourselves if we
cant get our shit together, and the ranchers come in when its over,
execute the rejects and keep what few who managed to do well in spite
of the fellow shitheads.... and there is that wierd promise of the
reserection... that they have a way to bring back every body who ever
lived, sort them out for god, and we all get to be together in the by
& by, minus the assholes... comforting if true....
And I havent done all that bad, never killed anyone, was cursed with
more honesty than normal etc. But I also screwed up plenty enough to
get burned if there isnt enough points given for lessons learned and
following better efforts..
we shall see....
I think I meet at least some of the good criteria....
including the belief in Jesus requirement, I just have come at it
from a non religious angle... me & the great spirit guy are good
friends, and JC's connection with him is still unfathomed to my
meager mind, but I have no doubts JC is quite likely to return and
fairly soon...
And I would like to encourage others to not let the hypocrits spoil
the teachings, as they are what trash the potentials to have more
people accept the teacher... i was like that for years, avoided
Christians generally, due to their glassy eyed fanaticism, their
constant bad mouthings of other denominations and other religions,
and the rampant greed many of them exibit in business...
But now I understand more, and can stand them better, and have learned
that there really are some sincere Christians who try really hard
towards human decency, albeit an obvious tiny minority... they have
my respect, and if the skygods dont want them they wont want me
either, and I'd rather not go along if its the jerks that get the
gifts... I also know I'm not the judge..... Aint my job to decide
who's who, its an invitation only party to go star hopping.... so
I bide my time try to puzzle out more of the story, and learn from the
teachings via much thought.... religious? No, but into self
improvement yes... and I hope others will consider aproaching the
bible from the point of view I've discovered for myself....
I hear the Christians on radio claiming Buddha & Lao Tsu's teachings
to be Satanic.... I seriously have my doubts, as I study all, and
have observed they have more commonalities than differences in the
Teachings, its always the inner man who needs worked on and always
towards the same goals of integrity & decency and acceptance and
forgiveness.... I dont think Jesus would hesitate to sit down to a
meal with any of the great teachers, but I notice the organized
religions that spring from each teaching think only they are Great
spirit's children.... hardly possible, does not compute.... its
generally a follow the money trip to understand...
and all this is to get to the point that its not too late yet to
realize the truths and rethink ourselves, and if necesary consider
this; if the skygods are going to return and exterminate the assholes
wholesale, then its probably alright for us to kill them in self
defense.... I would rather that everybody realized their componant in
the collective problems and grew up, but jesus said get a sword....
wasnt for a wall hanger I'd bet...
if you wont fight to defend your rights, you arent good survival
genetics.... just use up all the other options first.. Dont follow
the Jews into the gas chambers or the vaccinations or Tatoo lines...
you have a heart & a brain, use them...
courage? the root word is cour or cor, as in core or heart....
courage comes from the heart, therefor the heatless instinctual
liars, killers and thieves must lack actual courage.... And their
manipulations to get the rest of us killing each other for them proove
out this point.... find your hearts folks, be not fooled by liars..
its not religious or cultural lines the battle is drawn on, its
honesty and integrity and human decency versus manipulators...
take heart, take action, approach great difficulties with due
caution and consideration and mercy... we can do no better.....
and to close circle on a point; I think we grow up so slow, because
we are meant to live much longer....
We are so close to space and life extension, it would surely be sad if
we let the corrupt kill us all and destroy the planet...
its life or death folks, that simple... act or die...
my advice is this; no killing unless its absolutely necessary, and
then the absolute minimum...
the Russias provided the example, where they fell down, was in having
no history of self detirmination, no declaration of independence, and
no 200 years of working from a good constitution...
personally I think we need to go back to states rights, alter the
constitution just enough to up date it in consideration of modern
technogies, and use those technologies to put common man back in the
driver's seat by eliminating representational government, via elected
officials... better to have the people vote on everything, and
appoint non partisan explainers who illuminate the options and both
sides of all of them... and clean up the
constitution just enough to make it uninterpetable
in any way other than original intent....
like an example: the right to keep and bear arms, shall not be
infringed. period. everybody has an inalienable right to self
defense... Let the police pick up the bodys, not decide that only
they have the rights to the tools to insure personal safety and
respect..
--
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